the brothers crow

I wanted perfection, and I got Eli Manning. That sour taste in my mouth isn’t just me forgetting to brush my teeth this morning, or the blackened and burned coffee in my cup. Eli Manning won a Superbowl last Sunday.

Allow me to cut and paste a message I sent to my friend on January 15th, right after the Giants beat their first good team of the playoffs (sorry Tampa, you don’t count):

Do you know what the hell happened Sunday? Cause I don’t know what the hell happened Sunday.
I don’t want to think about it, but… what if Eli makes it to the Superbowl? How could we possibly cope with this national travesty, this sporting fiasco, this miscarriage of justice, this affront to the gods? And, dare I say… what if he wins it?The universe may tremble and fall, I fear.

This next one follows their OT win against The Pack, January 21st:

Damn it, explain this to me! Explain to me what is happening! I cannot comprehend this! We must stop Eli before it’s too late and people suggest he’s legit!

So, as you can see, I think the greatest tragedy to come from this is that people will think Eli is now good. Call me stubborn, call me bitter, but I can’t bring myself to believe it yet. It feels too abrupt, too unbelievable to think he finally stepped up. I don’t think I’ll be convinced until halfway through next season, or about a year from when we last wrote him off as adopted by the Manning family.

—–

Numbers time:

5 – The number of times Brady was sacked. Suffice to say, the Giants D dominated the Pats O-line. A lot of things went wrong for the Pats this game, but this was the biggest. The fact Brady still put up defendable numbers only reminds us that yes, he’s that good, but that his O-line is what led him to an MVP year. Without their usual stellar performance, Brady is only mortal.

36 – Laurence Maroney’s total rushing yards. While everyone expected the Pats to do most of their damage through the air, they needed Maroney to keep that crazy dominant Giants D honest. No such luck here.

12 – The Vegas point spread before this game, favoring the Pats. Frankly, even if you thought the Pats were going to win, it was probably a bit naïve to think they would cover this, especially after watching the Giants play in the postseason and week 17.

3 – The margin of victory for the Pats and Giants in week 17 and the Superbowl, respectively. Irony is a cruel mistress.

3 – The number of points that the Pats would have scored had they elected to kick a field goal instead of passing on a certain 4th down. I’m not saying you don’t go for it on 4th ever, but…

13 – The number of yards the Pats needed to get on that aforementioned fourth down. Sorry Bill, this was not the time. Sure, it was a fifty yard field goal attempt? But so what? If you were worried about field position, you should have punted the ball. There is absolutely, positively, no way I can defend this decision. None.

1 – The number of seconds left on the clock when Bill Belichick walked off the field. You have to admire the consistency of his assholishness. Then again, thinking back on that 4th and 13, I would have wanted to get the hell out of there too.

1 – The number of losses the Pats now have. Also the second part of the “18 and 1!” chant that New Yorkers coined at the end of the game and will no doubt use to forever mock their mortal Boston enemies.

(the duration of their natural lives) – the amount of time that we will have to watch the Manning brothers in commercials, that the ’72 Dolphins will annoy us with their “best ever” nonsense, and that Tiki Barber will regret retiring. Oh, and congrats to Tiki on becoming the ultimate proof for the Ewing Theory.

—–

Call it fate, call it karma, call it a swift kick to the crotch. What’s done is done, and both teams deserve credit–New England did something amazing, coming this close to history. But ultimately it was the upstart Giants who took a chance to go the distance with the all-but-crowned champions, only to become America’s Underdog the second time around and score a tremendous upset.

It’s like the first Rocky movie – “He doesn’t know it’s a damn show! He thinks it’s a damn fight!” said Apollo’s trainer. And then, in the sequel, he comes back and takes the title. I won’t try to stretch the analogy much further, but that’s what it feels like to me. New York fought for nothing but their own pride in week 17, and it was energy that carried them through Dallas, Green Bay and finally New England. Read those three names again. All of these teams were far more favored to win it all, and the Giants beat them all.

If we’ve learned anything from this season, it’s that momentum and pride are worth playing for, even in week 17. Here’s hoping that other teams take that lesson to heart in the future. And yes, this is me calling out Tampa Bay again. Seriously, you guys lost to the 49rs and the Panthers in the last two weeks. You got what you deserved.